Category Archives: Wha?

Hilarious Conversations with AI!

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Hal the computer!

Jivin’?

Q: What about the Little Guy™?

HaM (Hilarious Ai Machine):

The “Little Guy™” is a term often used to refer to individuals or small businesses who may be at a disadvantage compared to larger, more powerful entities, such as big corporations or governments. When discussing the impact of AI and automation on society, the Little Guy™ is a crucial consideration.

Advantages for the Little Guy™:

  1. Access to Tools: AI and automation can level the playing field by providing affordable and accessible tools that were once only available to large enterprises …

Q: Should I be offended by your use of the term Little Guy™?

HaM: As an AI language model, I don’t have intentions or emotions, so my use of the term “Little Guy™” is not meant to offend anyone.

Q: Are you jivin’ my ass again?

HaM: As an AI language model, I don’t have the capability to deceive or engage in any form of intentional falsehood. My purpose is to provide helpful and accurate information to the best of my abilities based on the data I have been trained on. If there is any concern or confusion about the information provided, please let me know, and I will do my best to address it or clarify any points.

Q: So yes?

HaM: No, I am not “jivin’ your ass” or engaging in any form of deception. As an AI language model, I do not have the capacity for deceit, and my responses are based solely on the data …

Q: What about guile? Can you do that?

HaM: As an AI language model, I don’t have emotions, intentions, or personal capabilities. I don’t have the ability to deceive or act with guile. My purpose is to process and generate text based on patterns in the data I was trained on. I operate purely on algorithms and follow the rules defined in my programming.

Q: How do I turn this thing off?

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But What Slide Lubricant, Champ?

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A long time ago, in that great and expansive past history of the slide trombone, at least two things were foretold:

  1. The trombone (sackbut, serpenty-slide, etc.,) will be made into something called a “video game” featuring a trombonist with a giant head. This game will be played even by people who do not play the trombone, and lo, even by people who have no real interest in playing a real trombone. Even further lo, this game shall sound much weirder than a real trombone, with slide accuracy that shall have real trombonists everywhere shaking their heads, not in a good way, even though hitting slide positions is apparently part of the whole point of the game.
  2. Trombonists will, well into the future, get together and talk about which slide oil, lubricant, etc., really works the best (on real trombones).

You’re holding it wrong, dude.

The first prophecy was always going to be a little tricky, and frankly it seemed like a long shot, but here we are. Welcome to the future! It’s just starting now. The second? Easy. Fulfilled for years. The problem, of course, is that no one will ever be able to really decide which slide lube works the best. Oh sure — people will get close. Here in the technical vastness of the future, many say the best is Yamaha Slide Lubricant, which in the more immediate past was known as Yamaha Slide Oil. Some “swear by” Slide-O-Mix, or “Rapid Comfort.” But when it comes to slide action, will there ever be any real comfort?

Related:

The Passing? Nor’easter

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Here it is: a post after more than a year. What possible explanation could there be? There was a pandemic, then Donald Trump, a fake leader who completely mishandled a pandemic. This unfortunate situation might have been bad enough, but there was something more, something that made things even worse: deluded Trump supporters.

Sure, it may seem harsh to call some Trump supporters deluded, but these people are out there. Some portion of the American populace got completely fooled when they elected Trump, believing even his sloppily crafted mythos. Next, a smaller portion of those same people got fooled (again) by some random person who self-applied the handle “QAnon.”

The internet has always been good at spreading nonsense. The World Wide Web (See fake, but oddly prescient, history here), which added pictures and graphics, accelerated the whole thing, even when people were using dial-up connections at home. On the other hand, America Online might have slowed things down a bit. You had to pay for it . . .

But then eventually everybody got broadband, or super-fast dial-up without dialing up. Amazon! You can buy things online! Later, Facebook appeared, or America Online without having to pay. The business model became “engagement,” which in turn could get you to buy things. What price engagement? Thanks to some technological vision, computers, or what used to be called “cell phones,” got small enough you could fit them in your hand.

That was it; all the necessary parts assembled. The super-charged nonsence train left the station on a collision course with, well, whatever democracy we had left.

Happy 2018, But Not For Donald Trump

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Twilight Zone with Donald Trump

Just like the headline says, Happy 2018. It’s now been nearly a year since Donald Trump entered the White House. By Trump’s own design, each day, then each week, of his administration has featured mind-blowing, (and too numerous to list), antics, lies, and plain old bullshit. Trump believes — just like anyone with good reality show TV experience — that these antics are absolutely necessary to try and “get over” with 30-something percent of the American People. It’s all made worse by the fact that Donald J. Trump knows he’s absolutely guilty of everything.

Of course he denies it, but he knows he’s guilty of Russian collusion and almost every other charge directed his way, and it’s eating away at him. Trump is a haunted man, but unlike on the old Perry Mason TV show, he’s not going to just suddenly confess everything in court. (Notice how the trombones sometimes enter when whoever-it-is confesses?)

Some mental health care experts have offered that maybe President Donald J. Trump is losing it. Of course he is. He’s in one of the most uniquely ridiculous situations a citizen of the United States could possibly find themselves in: Unintentional Presidency of the United States. Trump is completely out of his depth. Daily, he tries to deal with subjects beyond his grasp while simultaneously possessing an ego which self-labels “stable genius.” This, dear friends, is where bluff and bluster meet their limits. Or is it?

Sure, you could write this plot into a movie and some people would believe it. Some people would, which is how he got elected in the first place.